Emotions. What an interesting relationship you and I have.
In my younger years, I bottled them all up inside of me and prevented ANY emotion from coming through. Mostly because I had no idea how to handle them and also because I had convinced myself that it was necessary to protect myself.
I'll never forget when one of my dearest friends told me she had never seen me cry. She was right. It was then that our relationship changed. It was at that moment that I broke open... we're talking floodgates. Everything that was bottled up inside for over a decade, came rushing out... I couldn't help it. And at that moment I needed to create a new relationship with these (at times scary looking) emotions.
Fast forward a few years and life lead me into the corporate world. Working in high intensity, high stress and fast paced environments. I was in over my head. Why did everyone hide how they felt and why was it that the harder on the surface you were (especially as a woman) the more seriously people took you? Why was there so much drama behind the scenes, which was where people talked about how they really felt? Don't get me wrong, I understand that business decisions need to come from a place that is less about emotion and more about strategy. I understand that your best decisions are made when you can disconnect yourself from the outcome and work through the process. But I didn't (and still don't) understand why it is seen as a fault if you are emotional. Is everyone just secretly afraid of dealing with emotions? We are human after all.
I'm a woman. I'm emotional. Is that so wrong?
And then I hit another turning point. My director told me I was too emotional in my annual review. He said I was too connected to my emotions and I needed to hide them a little more in order to climb the ladder. Really? That's the perspective? No thank you.
Fast-forward a few more years to taking myself off birth control (hello natural hormones!) and pregnancy (hello random floodgates). And now I am raising two little boys and trying to teach them to talk about their emotions. How can I show up for them without showing up for myself and having a relationship with my own emotions?
Moment of truth. I'm still figuring out this relationship thing with my emotions, but I'm now at a point where I have more tools at my fingertips than I know what to do with.
So I invite you to come with me along this journey. I know many other people out there have these experiences, who have bouts of highs and lows due to various circumstances, and so I've put together a collection of my favorite things (mantras, yoga and essential oils) to get through some of the deepest emotions.
You are enough and you are perfect just the way you are.
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